The Issue of Homework

For many parents, homework time is a stressful time. Parents struggle with issues around how much or how little help to give, how to support children who struggle to start their homework or to complete their homework in a timely fashion, and how to manage situations where children are overwhelmed or upset by some aspect of their homework.

Here are just a few strategies that might be useful in supporting homework time for children of different ages:

Creating a schedule. Parents and children of all ages are often overwhelmed by the idea of when homework time will be fit in among other daily activities, like practices, down time, dinner, shower, and bed time. Creating a daily schedule that covers the hours between school dismissal and bed times and breaks available hours up into smaller chunks of time (i.e., 30 minutes, one hour) can decrease stress by showing how much time is actually available and where homework time would fit best. Schedules can be used every day, or every once in a while for particularly busy days or heavy homework times.

Here’s an example. If a middle school student gets home at 3 p.m. and needs to be in bed by 9 p.m., there are six hours, or 12 half-hour sections of time and a day’s schedule might look like this:

• 3:00-4:00 = free time
• 4:00-4:30 = homework
• 4:30-5:30 = dance class
• 5:30-6:00 = homework
• 6:00-6:30 = dinner
• 6:30-7:30 = homework
• 7:30-8:00 = shower/pick clothes for tomorrow
• 8:00-9:00 = TV shows/free time
• 9:00-9:30 = read in bed

There are many different kinds of schedules, from simple paper and pen, done on a daily basis, to more creative schedules with Velcro tabs that allow you to stick on times and activities and change things around from day to day. Allowing your child to try different schedules and choose the one that works best for them is a great way to give positive control over homework time and build independence!

Use a timer.  A stove timer or egg timer set for predetermined intervals can act as a nice incentive and aid for focusing on work. For a younger child who has a total of 30 minutes of homework to do, you might set the timer for 10 minutes. Once it goes off, reset for a five minute break, then another 10 minutes and then another five minute break, for a grand total of 45 minutes (30 minutes of homework + 15 minutes of breaks). Younger kids might enjoy setting the timer, and regardless of age, the timer is good for setting smaller achievable goals of focus and effort and instituting mini-breaks. For older students, intervals might be longer.

Set limits on your availability. Many parents have described the frustrating experience of preparing to leave the house for an evening meeting or to shut down the house and get everyone to bed, only to hear from their child that they need help with homework. This is a recipe for conflict, of course! One way to minimize the occurrence of this type of situation is to clearly state your availability for homework help beforehand.

An example might be use of a kitchen dry-erase board with the message, “Dad is available for homework help between 6 and 8 p.m. tonight” or maybe a long-term limit such as, “Mom is not available for homework help after 8:30 p.m. on weeknights. P.S.–This includes trips to CVS to buy poster board for a project that is due tomorrow!”

A useful addition might be verbal reminders when you first begin to set the limit or if your availability is changing. For example –“Sarah, I just want you to think about what homework you have tonight and what you might want help with because I’m available from after dinner until 8 p.m., and then I’m going to be done for the night.”

Communicating availability and setting clear limits like this can help children build their organization and planning skills, and avoid parent-child conflict around homework.

About the Author: Danielle Sutton, M.S.W, LICSW is the Director of Westwood’s Youth and Family Services department. She has worked as a clinical social worker with children and families for over ten years, and has served the Westwood community since 2004.